


And The Fault Of The Heart

by SnorkleShit



Category: The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Emotions, Family Feels, Finding a home, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Nightmares, Opening Up, Sleep Deprivation, ezekiel backstory: homeless orphan, homeless orphan angst, mission, sleeping issues, team as a family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 20:32:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6625183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnorkleShit/pseuds/SnorkleShit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Ezekiel, sleep deprived and remembering the video loop, makes a fatal mistake on a mission - it almost cost him everything.</p><p>However, as is the nature of the world, it turns out to be a blessing in disguise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And The Fault Of The Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fangirlandtheories](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirlandtheories/gifts).



> Summer asked for this, so this is 100% for her! I hope she likes it.
> 
> Shout out to my group chat fam for beta reading through this, and especially to Maggie, for suffering through my patchwork knowledge of grammar. My patchwork knowledge of all basic skills, actually.

Ezekiel trembled as he crouched against the wall with the others, waiting for Flynn’s signal. The guards they were avoiding passed, and he listened with trepidation in him as the footsteps retreated. Finally, when they seemed to fade, Flynn made some hand movement Ezekiel assumed was a signal to move. The lot of them rose and crept to the door. Their route to the door back to the Annex was cut off, so their best bet was to get out of the building. Once they weren’t trapped in a complex with a murder bent cult of goons, they’d call Jenkins and have him program another back door.

But the compound was locked down tight with security beyond that of Flynn’s caliber, so it fell to Ezekiel to get them out before the cult discovered they’d taken the Galdrabok out from under their noses. Some powerful spell book, that meant bad news if a bunch of Neo-Nazi cultists with guns and god complex’s used it. It was currently clutched to Cassandra’s chest protectively.

Ezekiel came to stand in front of the door, the other’s behind him, Jake looking apprehensively down the dimly lit hall. The fluorescent lights flickered momentarily above them. Ezekiel took a minute to steady himself - he’d been dizzy this whole trip. Like his head was in a fog. But that didn’t matter right now, he had to push that away and pick this coded lock. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small flathead screwdriver, and took off the cover. His hands faltered slightly as he did. He frowned angrily as he scraped the wall with the screwdriver. In the silence of the hallway, it sounded like a landslide.

“Would you hurry up, they’ll realize it’s gone any minute!” Jake hissed anxiously. Ezekiel flinched at the sudden noise, and nearly growled out a response not to rush art. He returned as much of his attention as he could muster to the panel of locks and tech. He narrowed his eyes. The finitism of all the different parts seemed to swim before his eyes and he felt sick to his stomach. A clock was running in his head, and each tick slurred itself against the next.

He reached forward with deft, experienced hands, to unhook a white wire. He had to make sure not to -

His hands shook, something they never did, and the system flipped. Ezekiel could only stare at his hands in horror as the alarms started to scream all around them. That didn’t just happen. He was Ezekiel Jones. He didn’t trip alarms with a rookie mistake, he had hands steadier than a surgeon!

“Shit! We’ve gotta get out of here, can you salvage it?” Eve exclaimed, jerking her head at the door. Ezekiel could only stare down at his hands. Before anyone could make another move, shouting approached, and Eve turned to late to watch a bullet from the leader’s gun rip through Cassandra’s shoulder. The Librarian cried out and fell back a little into Jake, reaching up towards her shoulder, which was quickly soaking in red.

“Run!” Eve said, shooting back with her pistol to make the attackers second guess themselves. Cassandra, Flynn, and Jake ran per her instruction down the left hall. Ezekiel was still staring at his hands and the panel.

 

“Jones, get your ass moving!” Eve practically shouted in his ear, making him jump as she grabbed onto his jacket and started to drag him down the hall. He stumbled over himself at the change in direction for the first few steps, but the message soon got through to him and he was running as fast as he could by her side. She kept shooting behind her as they caught up to the other’s. Cassandra was starting to stumble as blood ran down her arm. Jake stayed close to her, while Flynn ran from door to door, desperately pulling on them.

“If anyone’s got a plan, now would be a _really_ great time!” Eve exclaimed, turning her back to them to keep shooting.

“If I can-” Flynn started to say as he rushed down the hall from door to door, each of which was locked. But then his hand wrapped around the handle of what looked like a supply closet, and the handle turned with ease. He let out a whoop and ripped open the door. Shots rained down on them as their assailants got closer. Cassandra was still clutching the magic book to her chest with her good arm, but she was rapidly turning pale. She tried to step forwards toward Flynn, only for her legs to buckle. Jake dove forward and scooped her up before she could hit the floor, and rushed through the door Flynn was holding open for them. Eve turned and ran for the door, shoving Ezekiel through first before her and Flynn followed. Flynn slammed the door closed as he went through, and then they were all tumbling onto the floor of the Annex.

“Another spectacular- Mrs. Cillian!” Jenkins started to call out a dry remark, but all the joking manner was gone from his voice when he saw the injured girl. Jake struggled to stand up again with her in his arms. The book dropped to the floor, as she could no longer clutch it.

Eve tucked her pistol away and moved in front of Jake, and shoved all the papers and objects off the nearest side of the Round Table. Jake laid her down, and she groaned.

“Jenkins, the-” Flynn called, only to see that Jenkins was already making swift headway towards the backdoor.

“Yes, right away sir!” He said, heading into the Library. Jake applied pressure to the wound in Cassandra’s shoulder, which made her cry out in pain. He reassured her in a low voice it was only necessary, and that she was going to be alright. Flynn stooped to pick up the Galdrabok. He tossed it onto his desk and then ran a hand through his hair. Then, after a momentary breath, he rounded on Ezekiel. His usually bright eyes were blazing, and Ezekiel could only stare at the other Librarian.

“What the hell, Jones! That panel should have been child’s play for you!” He exclaimed. Ezekiel just stared at him. Then Flynn’s eyes narrowed, and he took a quick step forward until they were practically nose to nose. Flynn’s eyes flicked over his face.

“We could have died, Cassandra almost _did!_ That extraction job should have been a piece of cake. You’re the _world class thief_ , you’re like five freaking years old! I’m pretty sure you’ve never even touched a book and the only reason you’re here is to get in and out of places! And you couldn’t even do that! So why the hell are you here other than to be a pain in everyone’s ass?” He exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. Ezekiel flinched and took a step back, bumping into Flynn and Eve’s desk. He reached a shaking hand back to grip the edge of it, trying to ground himself, trying to pull himself back. He could only stare at Flynn as his words spun around him.

“Flynn! This isn’t helping!” Eve called from her place by the table. Flynn made no move to show he’d even heard her. He just kept staring Ezekiel down.

Ezekiel opened and closed his mouth. He felt like he was drifting away from this entire situation, like he was floating. His eyes slowly floated over to Cassandra and Jake, both covered in blood, and Eve ripping her shirt up to wipe it up. His eyes slowly moved back over to the older Librarian, who was still seething and giving him a murderous glare. Flynn seemed to be waiting for an answer, but Ezekiel could only stare at him blankly. This only seemed to anger him more.

Flynn huffed, throwing his hands up again and spinning away. He tilted his head up, this time apparently addressing the Library.

“I thought to myself the minute I saw _Ezekiel Jones_ on that list that you must have made a mistake, and I still think that! He doesn’t even care! He never cared about anything other than himself! How are we supposed to build a team with someone like that? And now Cassandra’s paying the price!” He snarled in utter exasperation.

“ _Flynn!_ ” Eve practically shouted, moving back around the table to grab angrily onto his shoulders. She forced the oldest Librarian to look her in the eyes.

“Am I wrong?” Flynn demanded.

“Yes!” She hissed. Before she could say anything else, Jenkins was bursting back through the door. He hurried over to the Librarian on the table, reaching to tilt her head up and bring the vial of green liquid to Cassandra’s mouth. She gulped it, and after a second, all the blood and the wound disappeared, and the color returned to her face. She groaned as she sat up, rubbing the spot on her shoulder where the wound had just been.

Eve sagged in relief, running a hand over her face as she turned back to an equally relieved looking Flynn. She gave him a firm stare.

“I know you care a lot about Cassandra, we all do. So I understand why you were so upset. But you’re supposed to be the observant one. How about you look at Ezekiel and tell me what you see.” She said firmly. Flynn turned his head back towards the youngest Librarian. Ezekiel’s slow moving attention was now fixed on Cassandra, with that same empty stare. He didn’t make any move to show he knew anyone was talking or looking at him. Flynn scrunched up his face.

“A thief.” He replied, as if the answer was obvious, turning to look back at Eve. Eve huffed and reached to grab Flynn’s face, turning his head back towards Ezekiel. Flynn opened his mouth and then shut it. Now that the anger and fear was fading, his eyes flicked to pick up on all the minor details he used to paint a bigger picture. He moved away from Eve, back towards the young thief, narrowing his eyes in a more quizzical manner.

“Ezekiel?” He said. Ezekiel slowly dragged his gaze from Cassandra back to him. His eyes were empty, almost glazed over. He was pale, greyish. Sweat was dripping from his temple. His lips were chapped, and there were extremely noticeable bags under his eyes. In fact, he’d had bags under his eyes for a while, Flynn remembered. He’d noticed, he just hadn’t….

“How long has it been since you’ve slept?” Flynn demanded. This caused Cassandra and Jake to look over to the exchange. They all watched as Ezekiel stood without any reply, or any intention of replying. After a prolonged moment, he just shrugged his shoulders.

“Is something wrong?” Cassandra asked, looking concerned as she swung her legs over the edge of the table.

Ezekiel looked over towards her. The younger Librarian blinked his eyes, and ducked his head to rub them, shaking himself slightly. There was a fog in his brain, and it wouldn’t dissipate fast enough. Vaguely, he knew this wasn’t a good situation to be in. His instincts told him to dissipate the circumstances with something that would divert their concern. But what?

“A new club opened up in downtown Portland.” He said, in finality.. Which wasn’t a lie, per se. A new club _had_ opened up. That just wasn’t the reason he wasn’t sleeping. But why not imply that? It would put their expectations of him back in the right range. He hoped. It was hard to tell right now.

Flynn stared at him. “A _club_? We almost died because you’ve been _clubbing_ every night?”

“Been there.” Jenkins muttered, from the other side of the table, earning a look from Jake.

“I- I can’t believe this!” Flynn burst out, whirling around. Eve put a hand on his shoulder, as a sign that she was now taking over the conversation. Then she directed a particularly hard gaze at Ezekiel.

“I told you before, Jones. This job is a responsibility, not a game. I would think you of all people would have learned that, but I guess I was wrong. If you aren’t prepared to take this very dangerous, very demanding job seriously, we’re going to have a problem. No more clubbing, unless it’s on your time off. No more all nighters. You need sleep, you need to be on your game. Another mistake like today, and we might not be as lucky next time, do you understand? I’m the Guardian, and it’s my responsibility to protect _all_ of you. And if that means I have to crack down on your personal lives, well, so be it.” Eve said sternly, turning her head at the end to address all of them. Her presence rang with authority, and Ezekiel felt his heart withering to the pit of his stomach as reality started to reach him again. But he didn’t show it.

Jake and Cassandra nodded, looking solemn. Flynn had his back turned to them all. Jenkins was filing papers, as if the situation didn’t concern him whatsoever. Eve turned back to Ezekiel.

“That being said, we’re all human. And all of us have made mistakes. We just have to learn from them. Now, you, go home. Get some sleep.” Eve instructed him. He moved his head away from her gaze, slowly pushing off the desk and walking past her. He headed towards the door, every step feeling remarkably heavy. As if he was being weighed down by the choking silence that echoed in his wake.

\-------------------------------

 

The next day, Jake flicked the lights onto their headquarters as he sipped his coffee, holding some scrolls under his folded arm.

As the lights of the large room lit up, Jake frowned thoughtfully. Ezekiel’s part of the room was composed of a frankly ridiculous tech set up. The chair was, however, empty. Which was weird, because Ezekiel was _always_ here before him. Cassandra, surprisingly, was always the last one in.

Speaking of Cassandra, the door behind him opened and she hurried in. She skidded to a halt next to him, looking at him quizzically.

“Why are you just standing here?” She asked. “I almost ran into you!”

Jake silently jerked his head towards Ezekiel’s empty part of the room. “Have you seen him today?” He asked. Cassandra turned to look at the empty chair, and then frowned in concern, her hair bouncing as she turned to look back at Jake.

“He...probably slept in. He was super tired, after all, that was the whole point of yesterday’s…” She made a complex gesture with her hands. “ _Debacle._ ”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Jake concurred, nodding.

“Do you wanna see something I discovered the other day! C’mon!” Cassandra exclaimed in excitement, and grabbed Jake’s hand to lead him back out the door to her lab.

\------------------

The day after that, Ezekiel didn’t come to work.

“He wasn’t here all yesterday?” Eve asked, arms crossed.

“We figured he was sleeping. But it’s the middle of the week, and he was in the middle of some important research before we went on that mission. I don’t see why he wouldn’t be here.” Cassandra said worriedly, wringing her hands. Jenkins busied himself around the Annex, and Flynn rolled his eyes.

“Maybe he’s at the club.” The oldest librarian muttered. Jake squinted over at him.

“You didn’t seriously believe that, did you?” Jake asked incredulously. Flynn looked up at him, and then at the others.

“What? He’s a thief but he doesn't lie. Right? Do you think he was lying?” Flynn asked. Cassandra and Eve exchanged a look. Jenkins huffed, and Jake rolled his eyes as he crossed his arm.

“Ezekiel doesn’t lie. But he is _not_ honest. Yeah, a new club probably opened. But I find myself doubting he was there every night. One, at most. It’s just his way of deflecting us from knowing the real reason he’s been off his game.” Jake explained, in an extremely unamused tone.

“Classic Jones.” Eve sighed. Flynn sat up straighter, gesturing with his hands as he furrowed his brows at each of them.

“And you just - you just let him do this? Let him be dishonest and hide things?” Flynn exclaimed. This earned a general chuckle from the group.

“It’s called being respectful. You really expect us to force him to open up? You of all people should know better.” Eve chided. Flynn had to nod in resignation at that.

“But this is different. This is actually something to worry about, I don’t think we should just roll our eyes and not say anything this time.” Cassandra piped up.

“And we won’t. Something is wrong with Jones, and we’re going to do something about it…” Eve looked at the table in front of her for a long moment, lost in thought, before nodding as if she’d made a decision. She drew herself up and fixed a look upon Jake and Cassandra.

“You two. Go to his apartment.” She instructed. Cassandra and Jake looked at each other, and then at her.

“What?” Cassandra quipped. Jake gave a nervous laugh as he shook his head, reaching his hand forward as if Eve had misunderstood something, or he had misunderstood Eve.

“Look, we don’t really go over to each others-” He started to say, but Eve fixed him with a look, as if daring him to challenge her. He clamped his mouth shut.

“You’re his friends, his partners.” She rebuttled.

“Yeah, but, you’re his Guardian!” Cassandra attempted. Eve rolled her eyes.

“Exactly. But that’s a different bond. He’ll probably respond to you guys initially more than me. I’m the authority figure, i’m the Guardian. But you guys, you’re all on the same level. You all came together here at the same time. So, go, and see him.” The Colonel said, waving her hand. It was clear the conversation was over.

\----------------

“I would have thought he would live in some crazy penthouse suite. I mean, he’s probably got loads of money. Why is he living here?” Jake inquired, as they walked up the staircase of a sub-par apartment building.

“Maybe he blew off all the money he god from his jobs. After all, the money isn’t really why he does it, he just likes to steal to steal.” Cassandra pondered.

“Yeah, that’s true. _‘Ezekiel Jones does impossible.’_ ” Jake pantomimed a haughty expression as he did his best Ezekiel impression, making Cassandra snicker.

They headed down the hallway the first desk had directed them too, stopping in front of 24A. Cassandra did the honor of knocking, her knock was hard but short, two quick raps planted against the white painted wood. The small metal plaque that designated it as 24A quivered as she did.

It didn’t take long for the door to open, to reveal Ezekiel, with bags under his eyes, in a hoodie that was pulled over his head and a pair of sweats. His face was quizzical as the door opened, but once he laid eyes on them it shifted from surprise to dread, before settling into a casual, uninterested demeanor. Yeah, as if.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, blocking the doorway with his body so they couldn’t see inside. But he leaned against the doorway in doing so, as if to make it seem like a natural movement. They were not fooled.

“Why didn’t you come in today?” Cassandra asked in concern. Ezekiel’s eyes quickly danced between the two of them.

“I didn’t want to.” He said, shrugging and then casting his gaze away, for fear of it betraying him. Jake and Cassandra exchanged a look.

“Do you need a few days off?” Cassandra asked, in an overly sympathetic tone. Ezekiel stiffened and turned his head to her, furrowing his brow as if offended.

“What? No! It’s not like that. I just didn’t feel like coming in. I’m fine. I told you I was only there to have fun. It’s not a _job_ to me, and I’ve never said any different, so why are you so surprised if I flake?” He asked incredulously, as if they were the ones that weren’t fine.

“Oh, cut the crap, Jones!” Jake inflected, jerking his arms at his sides slightly and rolling his neck in exasperation. “Don’t try and sell us the whole ‘devil may care’ ride-along bullshit. It’s not going to fly, and frankly, I’m starting to get annoyed you think we’re that dumb.” He exclaimed.

Ezekiel narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms, drawing himself up a little more. “How about you back off, mate. I never said I thought you were smart!” He snapped, building himself up a little more in anger at Jake. Jake’s hackles rose and he stood his ground, narrowing his eyes as Ezekiel’s voice started to raise. “You think I have time to give a damn about the world and all the law and order bullshit the Library wants to sell then you can-”

His anger evaporated as he faltered, suddenly turning pale, and all the pulling himself up crashed back down. He swayed slightly, eyes glazing over, before falling back into the door. Jake reached out and grabbed onto him, pulling him forward instead of back, for fear of him bashing the back of his head into the doorknob. Ezekiel sagged against him, knees weak, head spinning.

“Ezekiel? Are you alright? Are you sick, are you hurt?” Cassandra exclaimed in worry, hands reaching for him. Ezekiel squeezed his eyes closed and let his fingers curl into Jake’s jacket, trying to ground himself again.

“Dizzy.” Was all he could respond.

“We should get him sitting down or something. C’mon, Jones, just lean on me…” Jake said, voice now more gentle, wrapping his arm under Jones’ armpits. Cassandra pushed open the door so Jake could help Ezekiel inside, and then followed worriedly.

“What the hell?” Jake asked, as they entered the apartment, stopping in his tracks. Ezekiel groaned, very unhappy with his current situation. But he did not let go of Jake, nor did he bother to offer any sort of explanation.

Ezekiel’s apartment was...empty. Bare. The living room had nothing in it, not a single thing. No tv, no tables, no chairs, no coaches. Nothing but dust and and some cords piled in the corner.

“Do you even live here?” Cassandra asked in confusion, shutting the door behind her.

“Bedroom.” Ezekiel said, and the three of them struggled onward, down the hall. “Left door.” He sighed, not keen on letting them see more of where he lived. Cassandra hurried to maneuver around them, so she could open the door, since Jake was busy holding the other man up.

The bedroom was less bare. The most notable thing was the corner entertainment system setup, with multiple game stations, and a rather impressive and confusing computer set up, all hooked up to three side by side flatscreens, with the surrounding table space filled with various objects, dvd and game stacks, and an empty ramen cup. The only other notable thing in the room was a red race car bed, that was folded neatly, and looked like it hadn’t been slept in since it had been bought. At the foot of the bed was a huge duffel bag, with clothes half strewn out of it.

It looked like the home of someone who’d just moved in. Someone who was ready to go at any moment. Talk about packing lightly. Jake realized the connotations of it all, and felt the sadness and frustration he already felt constantly double. Ezekiel didn’t consider this a home. He really was ready to bail at any moment. Instead of thinking over that, however, he decided to focus on something less heavy.

“Is that a _racecar_ bed? What are you, twelve?” Jake demanded, as he laid Ezekiel down on said bed. His feet hung off the end of it, and Jake watched in disbelief as he curled to ft himself on a bed obviously designed for a ten year old. Ezekiel wanted to banter back, to make a joke, to deflect. But the world was still spinning, he was so weak, so tired. He just sighed sadly and turned his head away.

“You should go, I have things to do.” He muttered.

“What? Ezekiel, you obviously aren’t alright. When was the last time you slept? The last time you slept a full night before that?” Cassandra asked, perching on the plastic siding of the bed, trying to get him to look her in the eyes.

“It doesn’t matter.” Was all he could think to say. Cassandra and Jake exchanged a deeply disturbed look.

“I’m going to warrant a guess,” Jake said, in a serious tone. “And say it was around the time we got rid of Prospero.”

Silence ruled the air.

“You remember, don’t you?” Cassandra asked softly. Ezekiel reached up to rub his eyes.

“It doesn’t matter.”

Cassandra reached out to brush the hair out of Ezekiel’s face, drawing his haggard gaze back to her heartbroken expression.

“It does. Why didn’t you tell us? We can help. I know, for some reason, you don’t think so...but you are our friend. We care about you, a lot. I know you were alone in the loop, but now you aren’t. You don’t have to go through this part alone.” Cassandra’s voice was so sincere, so heartfelt, so full of concern and empathy. It broke something down in the other LIbrarian that he had not yet been made aware of. He was silent for a remarkable moment. Probably the longest Jake could currently recall him being silent.

“I didn’t want you to think differently of me.” He explained.

“How? Even if you didn’t remember, we would have thought differently. What’s so bad about us knowing what you’re really capable of?” Jake asked. Ezekiel kept his eyes on Cassandra as he replied.

“You acted like i’d changed for the better, but I didn’t.” Ezekiel huffed, and then finally turned his gaze away from Cassandra, placing it on the distant popcorn ceiling instead. “If anything, I changed for the worst.”

“You didn’t change for the better. You were always that good, when you’d let yourself be.” Jake replied, causing Ezekiel to look at him in surprise. “You think i’m always mad at you because I think you’re a bad guy? I may be thick, but I’m not that stupid. I’m just mad you won’t be yourself. Which is probably hypocritical, coming from me.” Jake huffed, sticking his hands in his pockets. “But the point is, in that loop, I saw you letting yourself be yourself. Afterwards, I didn’t hope you’d be a decent guy. I had hope you’d believe that you could let yourself be.”

Before a shocked looking Ezekiel could process that, Cassandra jumped in.

“Trauma doesn’t make you a bad person, even if it feels like it. It makes you human. It means you were strong, then. So strong. I don’t think anyone else could have done it. But being that strong is hard, you’re human. You don’t have to be strong now, we can help you. We’re a team, we’re friends, we’re supposed to take care of each other. We can get through it if we do it together. Now, you can’t sleep. Do you think medication would help? Or maybe something at the Library?” She suggested. Ezekiel turned to stare at her, drinking in her words. He decided to address the questions instead of the heavy emotional information.

“It’s not that I _can’t fall_ asleep, I...don’t want to. When I do, it’s bad, and I wake up feeling like i’m going to have a heart attack.” He admitted. It felt strange, to be baring himself like this. But not all bad.

“Nightmares? I use to have those all the time. Nowhere near as bad as you probably are, but… my parent’s maid would stay late, and sit up with me while I slept, to calm me back down if I woke up from a nightmare. After a while, I stopped being so afraid in my sleep, because deep down I knew she was there and I wasn’t alone.” Cassandra recalled, with a faint smile. “How about we stick around for a while, and make sure you get some sleep?”

Ezekiel’s eyes widened at that, and he surged up, trying to pull himself out of bed.

“No, no, i’m fine, really, I’ll just-” He started to stammer. Jake reached a gentle hand to stop him, palm pressing against his surging chest. It worked, freezing Ezekiel in place.

“You need to sleep, and you know it. We’ll be here, and that isn’t a bad thing.” Jake said firmly. Ezekiel faltered unto himself, hesitating, before letting himself slowly lay down. Cassandra stood.

“We’ll hang out in the living room.” She told him.

“If you make a habit of this i’ll have to put furniture in there.” Ezekiel muttered, as he curled onto his side and finally let himself accept the idea of sleep. Once he had done that, the tiredness he had been fighting so long overwhelmed him, and he was asleep almost as soon as he hit the pillow. Jake and Cassandra left the door open, and sat cross legged on Ezekiel’s living room floor. They talked quietly, about Ezekiel, about the Library, about a lot of things.

Sure enough, a good while later, they were alerted to distress by a shout and a crash. They jumped up, hurrying to the bedroom, to find Ezekiel having fallen to the floor, crashing slightly into his computer chair as he did. When Cassandra hurried over to help him up, he whipped around at her with wild, terrified eyes, and with a cry he scrambled away from her so hard he smacked his head into his desk. He stopped, cringing over and reaching to grab the back of his head, breathing quickly in and out.

“Ezekiel?” Jake said, crouching down on the floor in front of him to be on his level. Cassandra stood back a ways, wringing her hands. It was disheartening, to see the awesome and carefree Ezekiel Jones so terrified, confused, so vulnerable. No wonder he didn’t want them to stay, he wasn’t one to be exposed like this. But Jake was good at this, she knew from experience.

“Hey, buddy, it’s alright. You’re safe, we’re safe, everything is alright, you’re right here with us. Can you look at me, man?” Jake asked after assuring him. Ezekiel looked up at him, confused at first, but then the words and the reality sunk in. His breathing slowed, and the tension left his frame, and suddenly he just looked more exhausted. He groaned, and put his head in his knees, ashamed and uncomfortable to be so weak and exposed in front of them.

“Hey, it’s a start, you got a little sleep. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Cassandra piped up.

“Are you hungry? I saw a cafe a few streets over.” Jake suggested.

\-------------

Over the next week or two, Ezekiel bought a couch, a tv, and a table for his living room, since Jake and Cassandra insisted on babysitting him. He had to admit, despite how uncomfortable he was with being so exposed, with being so weak around them, he was starting to feel something else. Something safe. And warm. Something that reminded him of when Jake would tell him to stop for a minute, in the loop, and just close his eyes. When Cassandra would cry and hug him for hours, loop after loop. His emotions were all sorts of whacked up, but he knew one thing for sure, he had stumbled on something with these people far more valuable than anything he could ever steal. Something more valuable to him then all the sights and all the adventure in the world.

Not that he’d ever admit to such.

After a while, to his surprise, Cassandra was right. He wasn’t so afraid when he woke up from a nightmare. He wasn’t so afraid to fall asleep. His nightmares about them being ripped apart started to be broken up with other dreams, dreams about them, doing weird dream stuff. But they were a relief. He’d been going on so little sleep for so long, once he started to get more than two hours of sleep a day, he felt like his old self again.

Once they’d gotten a routine down on handling the nightmares, Jake decided to broach a new subject of concern.

“Okay, seriously, dude, what the hell is with the bed. It’s ridiculous. You have more than enough money to get an actual bed! You can barely fit on this thing!” Jake exclaimed, while helping Ezekiel carry some laundry into his room. Ezekiel shrugged as he started to fold things, not looking at Jake.

“I like it.” Was all he responded. Cassandra followed them in, holding a glass of water, and leaned against the doorframe.

“I'm not taking sides here...okay, I am. I'm on Jake’s side. The way you curl up to sleep on that silly thing is bad for you!” She informed him, face sculpted in concern. Ezekiel, having become annoyed with the topic of constant conversation over the last few days, threw down the shirt he was folding and stood up.

“It's not silly!” He practically shouted, rounding on them. They both froze in alarm at his outburst, and glanced at each other. Ezekiel seemed to regret the volume of his exclamation.

He crossed his arms and looked away from them. Jake felt as if he’d made a blunder.

“Is it...important? For some reason?” Cassandra asked.

“No, it's dumb, it is silly and you’re right, just leave it alone.” Ezekiel muttered, turning back towards his laundry.

“If it's important to you then it isn't dumb, and we’re sorry we didn't think it through. You can tell us.” Cassandra insisted.

Ezekiel kicked his shoe against the bottom of the bed absently. He hesitated for a moment, before shrugging.

“I...didn't have a lot of stuff. As a kid. Not the best off, if you know what I mean. And all the kids in my town got these. It was a big thing. And there was no way I could ever have anything like this. So, once I moved in here, I realized that it wasn't like that anymore. I can have everything I I never had. So, I got myself a dumb fucking racecar bed, okay?” He huffed, shoulders sagging, gesturing at the bed. He acted as if it was some form of being defeated, whenever he allowed himself to open up.

Jake and Cassandra, naturally, felt like extremely large assholes.

“It’s not dumb. I understand. It means something, like the trophy you stole for me. We didn’t mean to make fun of it, I like it.” Cassandra apologized. Ezekiel just shook his head.

“No, it is silly...I should probably get a real bed. Everyone’s going to so much of an effort to get me to sleep, I should probably be sleeping right. Gotta be on my A game, right?” He said, trying to adopt a lighter tone.

“Speaking of your A game, how far are you in that research on the Serpent Brotherhood?”Jake asked, sensing an excellent time to change the subject.

\--------------

Ezekiel got rid of his child’s bed and got a queens, with memory foam, which definitely helped in his sleeping habits. He filled his apartment with more furniture, he bought chairs and more dishes, since Jake insisted on cooking for them. They watched movies together, went over work together from the comfort of his living room.

And one day, Ezekiel came home alone, which was rare but not unheard of, since the other two did have their own lives. He closed his door behind him, and set his bag down on the couch. And then he stopped, and looked around.

He hadn’t really realized, he had been swept up in the two of them trying to help him and working at the Library, that he hadn’t considered what had been happening.

This place felt like...a home. Like someone really lived here, like this was a fixed place, a place to settle down in. The only thing missing was knickknacks and pictures. It wasn no longer just a stop on the road, a place to crash, a place to be near the Library. It was a place to _  
all on it’s own._ A place to invite other people in. And that’s exactly what he’d done, he’d let them in. Not just into his apartment. Into his heart, into him. Beyond what he let the world demand of him.

He had very mixed feelings about this. He walked slowly, running his fingers over the back of his couch. It scared him. But it also sparked something, something deep down. He felt like he was standing at an impasse. Should he give into it completely, let these people in? Let this place be his home? Let the Library be where he belonged, and stop hiding behind the idea he was only there for as long as he was having fun?

It could end very, very badly if he did. They could die. They could stop loving him. They could leave him, make him leave. Something bad could happen to the Library. They were all expendable, the Library was the front line in an eternal war. They were never not going to be in danger. Could he really risk letting himself give in completely to something so quick to disappear? Something so ready to cause him unimaginable heartbreak?

But was the alternative he’d always clung to any better? Keeping his distance, a carefully formed exterior, a pretense to keep himself from getting too close or from being tied down? Ezekiel Jones was no coward, by all accounts. He was a risk taker, a thrill seeker, an adventurer. But despite living his life on the edge, he had always, really, been playing it safe. Never letting himself get close enough, commit himself, for fear of getting hurt.

Was the risk of getting hurt worth finally letting himself belong somewhere?

He sighed, alone in his living room, and closed his eyes against the light bleeding from his dusty windows.

He’d been asking himself this for a while now, but the question seemed to grow more desperate, more pressing, as time went on and he couldn’t help but know he’d never be able to leave this place. His bailing days were over. But the fear, the pretense, it remained. Like a security blanket. He really was a child, wasn’t he?

\-------------

It was just another regular day, at the Library, fighting some bad guy hell bent on ultimate power, and coming home to hand the artifact proudly to Jenkins.

“Job well done, Librarians.” Eve announced proudly to the Annex.

“Anybody up for dinner?” Ezekiel asked, giving a smug smile as he held up a very, very thick wallet. Cassandra huffed, putting her hands on her hips. Everyone started to pat themselves down.

“Who’s is that?” Eve asked in confusion. Ezekiel’s grin widened.

“That evil guy who’s name I didn’t bother to remember.” He explained. Flynn gave an approving nod.

“Before we go buy dinner with a power hungry wanna-be dictator’s money,” Jake said, holding up a hand to draw all eyes to him. “I think there’s something we should do first. Jenkins, it arrived this morning, didn’t it?” Jake asked. Cassandra and Eve smiled, and Flynn’s eyes widened as he remember, and then he tried to cover an excited smile. Jenkins nodded, a proud, knowing nod.

“Indeed, sir, it’s in the hallway by the front door, as I could not move it by myself. I figured it would be foolish to move it regardless, as you’ll want to bring a truck to haul it over there, I imagine.” Jenkins informed him primly. Ezekiel looked between all of them, frowning as he tucked the freshly stolen wallet back into his pocket.

“What the hell are you guys talking about?” He asked, getting the sudden feeling they all knew something he pointedly did not, and had planned it that way. Cassandra rocked back on her heels, eyes full of a gleeful light, and Flynn moved forward to clap him on the shoulder.

“Why don’t you come see?” The oldest Librarian said, voice prideful and stance tall. Ezekiel gave him a quizzical, apprehensive look. Without further adu, Ezekiel found himself being led by everyone, even Jenkins, out of the Annex and up the hall. They rounded the corner into the main corridor to the front door, and Ezekiel laid eyes on a large cardboard box, about as tall as his shoulder, set against the left concrete wall. The other halted, and he halted as well. The way the light was in the hallway, he could not yet distinguish anything about the package.

“What the hell?” He asked. They were all grinning at him, and Jake jerked his head.

“Go ahead, go look.” He prodded. Ezekiel, more confused and apprehensive than ever, gave them all drawn out, suspicious looks as he slowly moved towards the package.

Once he moved closer, around to the side that the light from the door was shining in on, he could make out a large label.

Portland, OR. Flynn Carson.  
Custom build, blue racing car, queen sized, double framed.  
Assembly required. This side up.

It read, with a large printed arrow pointing towards the side facing the ceiling. He stared at the large box for a full minute, blinking as he registered what was inside.

“Cassandra and Jake told us, uh, about the bed thing. And I happen to have a friend who specializes in custom furniture.” Flynn explained.

“We made sure it was the same size as the bed you just got, so you can put that nice memory foam mattress right on in it. No more curling up like a contortionist for you.” Jake carried on to explain.

“The last one was red, but I know you like electric blue, so I hope you like it.” Cassandra added.

“The delivery man’s face was rather humorous, to be delivering a package under a bridge, I wish you would have been here to see it.” Jenkins commented.

Ezekiel listened to everything they said, face still a bit slack, and reached out to run his fingers over the corner of the package. Nobody had ever done anything like this for him. Nobody had ever done anything for him, let alone something so sentimental, so thoughtful, something that took such....affection. They’d taken his silly little fixation on trying to fulfill a childhood dream, and. And they cared. They cared about something so...even Flynn. It may seem like something so foolish to anyone else, but to Ezekiel, he remembered seeing all the commercials for them, seeing them in everyone’s nice bedrooms in their nice houses with their nice families. Even some of the girls in his town had gotten them. He remembered, as a kid, sleeping anywhere he could curl up out of the rain, while everyone else got cool beds and happy families.

And now he had the coolest bed, and the happiest family, and they didn’t think it was stupid. They didn’t even know the full story, they didn’t even know he’d been homeless. Maybe they assumed. But all they knew was that it was important to him. And he realized, in a sudden, heartstopping moment, that he was important to them. It was so stupid, it was just a silly bed, but it wasn’t. And suddenly the cool, collected, careless Ezekiel Jones was absolutely overcome with emotion.

“Are you crying?” Eve asked in surprise. Ezekiel reached up to scrub his face, turning his head away from them, trying to get it to stop.

“No! I’ve got something in my eye…” He lied, trying to catch his breath. How pathetic, crying over a race car bed in front of everyone.

“Yeah, uh, it’s really dusty in here, i’m watering up too.” Jake tried to casually cover for him moving forward. “Want me to get my truck around front so we can take it over there?” He asked, hoping to draw Ezekiel’s attention to action instead of emotion, since he knew how much Ezekiel would hate to be so emotional in front of them all.

 

And he did, Ezekiel’s instincts naturally screamed at him not to be so exposed. Not to be so uncool. But then that other thing, that spark, the emotions won out. He gave in. This was his home and this was his family and he was tired of keeping a distance. All or nothing, right? He was tired of playing it careless and safe. They could all be gone tomorrow, but wasn’t that more of a reason to stop living like he didn’t care.

So Ezekiel turned, and instead of deflect it or say something suave or respond to Jake’s redirection, he drew himself up with a bated breath.

“I'm never going to bail.” He announced, face still a little wet. “I finally have a home, and no matter what I said, I'm not going to leave it.”

His brutally open confession was apparently not the reaction they’d been expecting, because all their faces were anointed with surprise and an array of emotions.

Eve was the first to regain herself, and her face split into that warm, sincere smile. Pride for him poured from her eyes, and she strode forward to wrap an arm around his shoulders.

“We know, Jones. But I'm glad you know, too. We’re not going anywhere, either. Now, how about we get this bad boy to your place, and go grab something to eat? And that includes you too, Jenkins, you've gotta get out more.” She announced. Jenkins made a face, and a hand gesture.

“While I appreciate that, I really am-” He started to say.

“Jenkins.” She said, in a tone that was both playful and no nonsense. His mouth snapped shut and he rolled his eyes, but then gave a smile.

“While there is this rather nice Italian place, on fourth street…”

“I'll go get my truck. We’ll split up rides, alright?” Jake announced, and Ezekiel found himself feeling as if the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders, as they all moved towards the light of the open doors. Together. He had a feeling he’d sleep better than ever, on his new bed.


End file.
